This Friday is the group show at Tapir gallery. Its hard to imagine 3 months have gone by already. I will be showing a 6ft drawing on paper. It was the first graphite piece that I finished while in the residency and signifies a major shift in my work.
Outside of my occasional etch-a-sketch portraiture, most of my art has been quite constructivist in its tendency to be pure process and pigment. The piece in the show is really my return to form, objectivity, and symbolism. What was once reserved for my overly esoteric poems and titles, I am now exploring visually. I’ve come to describe the graphite drawings as a group of creatures and cultures. (both imagined and represented)
The following Thursday, I will be opening up my studio to share the bulk of my work that has been created in Berlin. It will be an informal time for me to share my stories and new directions that have arisen while hosting a little celebration with the wonderful people that I’ve come to know in Germany.
In spending time with a beautiful and intelligent German woman, my heart has been awoken from a deep slumber.(not dating anyone for 5 years will do that to any dreamer). However, you can’t force love. My newly awoken heart projected feelings upon her which misinterpreted words and actions.(not to mention the cross cultural need to also translate nonverbals) So with a big smile and a little ache to the ego, friendship slowly got her wisdom through my thick skull and dizzy heart to remind me again that she too, is more than worth while.
As I’ve completely run out of money a few times since being in Berlin and am now surviving because of a few gracious loans and prayer responding angelic internet surfing art and artist supporters, I am faced with the overwhelming sense that I need a more sustainable answer to income than selling paintings. Some of you are probably saying… Duh, but I’m stubborn.
I may return to manual labor. Creativity in my life seems to love rhythms. Fabrication? Merchant Marine? Construction? Woofing? Cook?
Ideas are welcome. Seriously.
I feel deeply alive in the wilderness. Being lost in the unfamiliar. The line between loneliness and solitude is however thin. The old motifs of home and journey continue to ebb in my life. My flight back to the states stirs up all kinds of emotion. I miss my community of friends. There are parts of me that only come out in the contexts of specific people. I’ve made wonderful new friends and have a portion of my heart now in Germany. I feel emotionally and spiritually exhausted. I am hoping for a much needed rest following a long prayerful walk by the river today.
Where do I go from here? Some paths are paved. Others are simply made. Some paths have signs marking the trees at the crossroads. Most crossroads have no signs. This pilgrim is going to stop thinking so far ahead and take in today as it comes. I hope to see you along the way. Tschau for now.